Distress Tolerance: Long-Term & Short-Term Skills for Relief

When we’re in crisis, it’s easy to overreact. Life throws a LOT of curve balls, and it’s easy to get swept up in our emotional minds, losing sight of our goals and values. This can lead to negative consequences and engaging in self-destructive behaviors that we later regret. This is where Distress Tolerance Skills come in handy so that we can manage these overwhelming situations without making things worse or adding to the problem.

It is important to remember that these skills are meant for short-term relief, not as a long-term solution to solving our problems. We’re not meant to push away our emotions entirely, as they can (and will!) resurface later. Distress tolerance skills are meant to serve as a temporary way for us to manage intense emotions and discomfort to survive a crisis without further contributing to the problem.

The TIPP Method for Emotional Stability

Let’s begin with the TIPP skill. TIPP stands for Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive Muscle Relaxation. The TIPP skill is wonderful for those times when you feel completely hijacked by your emotions and are unable to think clearly. Tensions are high, emotions are hot, and it’s easy to lose control. TIPP can help bring you back down to a place where it’s easier to problem solve and restore you back to Wise Mind.

Temperature

Let’s begin with Temperature. This refers to changing your body temperature to better regulate your emotions. Colder temperatures lower heart rates, which is helpful when you’re trying to return to a less activated state of mind. Think about when you feel anxious or otherwise emotionally overwhelmed. Chances are, your heart rate is through the roof which can make things feel even worse. Splashing your face with cold water, placing an ice pack on the back of your neck, or even taking a walk in the cold weather can slow your heart rate down and lead to overall feelings of calmness. Please check with your doctor if you have any medical conditions that affect your heart rate or blood pressure before attempting to use this skill.

Intense Exercise

Next is Intense Exercise. High-intensity movement can be very effective in “getting it all out” when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Jumping jacks, vigorously shaking your hands and arms, sprinting in place, etc. are all examples of short, intense exercises that can help deescalate and rebalance intense emotions.

Paced Breathing

Paced breathing is an excellent way to self-soothe intense emotions. A simple way to practice this is by making your exhales longer than your inhales. Some people like to count, which is perfectly fine too! You can count to 4 on the inhale and 6 on the exhale, or some version of that.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Finally, Progressive muscle relaxation is a technique involving tensing and relaxing various muscle groups. You can start with your feet and deliberately tighten them as hard as you can for a couple of seconds, then release. Move up to your calves, then your thighs, abdominals, chest, upper back, and neck. See below in the resources section for a YouTube video of the progressive muscle relaxation exercise.

Self-Soothing Through Your 5 Senses

The TIPP skills are very effective ways of managing extreme emotions and can help us regulate when we’re under pressure. Another distress tolerance skill is self-soothing using your five senses — sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell.

Sight

Take in what’s around you. Maybe look at something pretty or calming and pay attention to all the minute details. Look at pictures of people and places you care about and relish the positive feelings you experience.

Sound

Listen to your favorite music or sing something out loud! Listen to natural sounds around you or pop in a guided meditation.

Taste

Eat your favorite food or drink and really take the time to enjoy it. Treat yourself to some comfort food and really take in the experience. Tip: Peppermint candy is also an effective aid in reducing anxiety!

Touch

Take a long hot bath or shower, pet your dog or cat, get a hug from someone you care about, get a massage, etc.

Smell

Diffuse essential oils (lavender, peppermint, and ylang-ylang are especially helpful). Burn smelly candles and pay attention to all the different notes you notice.

Methods for Short-Term Stress Relief

Now that we’ve discussed how the TIPP skillset can help in soothing intense emotional distress, let’s dive into two methods that help temporarily distract our minds from situational stressors that can cause dysregulation in our daily lives. Remember, these skills are meant for short-term relief, not as a long-term solution to solving our problems. We’re not meant to push away our emotions entirely, as they can (and will!) resurface later.

The ACCEPTS Skill

ACCEPTS is an acronym that stands for activity, contributing, comparisons, emotions, pushing away, thoughts, and sensations. This skill is helpful when we need a “break” from whatever is stressing us out, and some space to re-calibrate and approach the problem with a clearer mind.

Activities

Engage in an activity. Do something to take your mind off of whatever is bothering you. Read a book, go for a walk, talk to some friends, do some chores around the house, etc. The point is to do something that keeps you busy, but is also low-stress so your mind gets a bit of a mental vacation.

Contributing

Do something nice for someone else. Get out of your head for a while and give back to someone in a meaningful way. This doesn’t have to be huge. Check in with a friend, pay someone a compliment, or help someone else out with a task. We feel good about ourselves when we help others.

Comparisons

Think about a time when you’ve overcome something challenging in the past. Remember what you were thinking and feeling back then and how you were able to survive it. Another way to use this skill is to consider other people who might be going through something harder than you. This can be tricky because it can easily slide into invalidating yourself and that’s not the goal here. This is meant to add a different perspective to your experience and get you unstuck from catastrophizing. This skill can be difficult to implement for some people, so if it doesn’t resonate with you, feel free to leave it!

Emotions

Distract from your current emotion by creating another one opposite. If you’re angry, watch something hilarious to make you laugh. If you’re anxious, engage in something calming (deep breathing, gentle stretching, or exercise). Give yourself other experiences to help return to emotional equilibrium.

Pushing Away

This skill is great for when you have a problem you can’t immediately solve. When we get stressed, we tend to hyper-fixate on what’s stressing us out, and that in turn increases our stress and anxiety. Practice allowing your thoughts to pass without holding on to them. If you need something more activating, write all your thoughts down and then rip up the paper to symbolize those thoughts going away. Distract yourself from other activities and let the intensity settle back down before reengaging.

Thoughts

Our thinking mind tends to shut off when our emotions grow in intensity. This skill involves practicing turning back on our thinking mind to find more balance. Try thinking of a positive quote or do something mentally stimulating (Sudoku, puzzle, chores) to reengage with your thinking brain.

Sensations

Stimulating our senses can be an effective way to manage emotions. This can be especially helpful for people who self-injure when they feel overwhelmed and in distress. Try holding an ice cube, taking a cold or hot shower, listening to loud music and screaming along, etc. Once you use this skill, it’s helpful to look at some of the other skills we’ve discussed to use in conjunction.

The IMPROVE Skill

IMPROVE stands for imagery, meaning, prayer, relaxation, mindfulness, vacation, and encouragement. This skill is meant to help you replace the thoughts, emotions, and sensations with more pleasant experiences to reduce distress.

Imagery

You can use imagery to create a safe, calm place for you to relax. Put yourself there and take in all the sights of the pictures you create in your mind. This can be a place that you know or somewhere imagined. 

Meaning 

Life isn’t always fair, and it can be easy to get caught dwelling on difficult situations. It can be helpful to shift perspectives and try to find meaning in whatever situation you find yourself in. What can you potentially learn from this? How can you hold on to what’s important to you, even in hard times? 

Prayer

This can have several meanings to different people. It can mean turning to a higher power in a religious sense or not. It can mean tapping into the idea of “strength” or turning to Wise Mind. Prayer is a way to connect to something bigger than us, whatever that means for you. 

Relaxation

Find a bit of comfort! Take a hot bath, snuggle under a blanket practice deep breathing, and go for a leisurely walk. Do something soothing to help alleviate intense feelings. 

One Mindfully

When difficult things happen, it can cause a wave of memories from other difficult things to flood us. Remind yourself that all you need to do is get through the moment that’s in front of you. Stay present and grounded, and take things one step at a time. When you start getting caught up in stories from the past, gently bring yourself back to the present moment. 

Vacation

Give yourself some space from the problem. This skill is meant to be brief and intended to allow you to return to the difficult situation once you’ve calmed down. Take a nap, zone out in front of the TV for an hour, turn your phone off for a little while, etc. Just give a brief, easy break from what is currently stressing you out. 

Encouragement

We all talk to ourselves, why not make what we say a little bit kinder? Give yourself some self-encouragement! Say positive affirmations to yourself, remind yourself that this will pass and that you’re doing the best you can. Things are already hard, so why not show yourself a bit of ease?

 

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Keep practicing these skills and stay tuned to explore more means of healthy distraction skills to help you manage difficult situations calmly. We encourage you to check out our other blogs and resources for further information and exercises to practice along your journey to move forward as a happier and holistically healthier you!